#BigFella40 | A huge life

To celebrate what would have been Jarrod Lyle’s 40^th birthday, Challenge and the PGA have asked Jarrod’s family, friends, colleagues, and the infinite people he influenced, to share their favourite stories of the affable Tour Professional.

Grief can be a cunning bastard. It’s such a constant, persistent beast that so many people have the misfortune of having to live with. The hardest part by far is that it never goes away. It’s a life sentence. Sometimes it’s quiet and fades to the background, but other times it comes to the forefront and becomes deafening. 

For me, August is the time of year when my grief is the loudest.

It’s not just grief about Jarrod’s loss that affects me the most these days, it’s grieving all the things he’s missing out on. Of course there are the obvious things like birthdays and Christmas, but it’s the smaller, in-between parts of life that are hard because they are not big ‘events’. Most of the time it’s the ‘firsts’ for his girls, things that are not on anyone else’s radar. First time riding a bike without training wheels. First time learning to whistle. First time scoring a goal in netball. First time skipping bars on the monkey bars. First time going on a plane. First time losing a tooth. First time swimming from one end of the pool to the other. First time seeing snow. 

The list is endless and the significance of these events will only increase as we move into secondary school and beyond.

It doesn’t matter how many years it has been since Jarrod died, there are always more firsts for him to miss out on. 

Every time one of these ‘firsts’ happens, I always have the same thought: it’s not fair. None of it is fair.

That was one thing that Jarrod never said, no matter what he was dealing with, but I have no problem saying it.

I know my girls feel it as well. Often they are the ones who remind me that daddy’s not here to share in their achievements and we have to try and guess what he would have said.

Another thing about grief is that it changes over time. More and more I find that my grief is slightly less about myself and more about Jarrod – what his life must really have been like, and what he must have been feeling at certain times.

I’m not talking about his life on the surface, but how it must have felt to be the person living such a rollercoaster. What it must have felt like to be told he had cancer. Not only once, but three times.

What it felt like to play on the US Tour for the first time, knowing what he’d overcome.

What he must have been feeling to leave his newborn daughter to begin cancer treatment.

What he was feeling, both physically and mentally, after playing all four rounds at the 2013 Australian Masters. And what he must truly have been feeling, deep in his soul, to make the decision to end treatment and go home to die, even though he had so much to live for.

Despite the tidal wave of emotions that comes with trying to understand things from Jarrod’s perspective, one thing stands out to me every time – he lived a huge life.

It was definitely an action-packed ride with never a dull moment, and I’m pretty sure he wouldn’t have changed any of it. 

For anyone who knows me, it comes as no surprise to hear that I didn’t share Jarrod’s passion for golf. It’s by far one of the most frustrating sports on the planet, with some of the most ridiculous rules and traditions.

But I am eternally grateful that Jarrod was part of the golf world. In his very short life, golf gave him the opportunity to travel to some amazing places, meet people from all walks of life, and experience some of the highest of highs.

It’s a world that I’m now well and truly entrenched in, both personally and professionally, and the irony is not lost on me.

I can also say with certainty that, for the time being at least, I wouldn’t have it any other way. 

I always knew Jarrod was special and that I was lucky to call him my husband, but I love knowing that he was so significant in the lives of many other people.

The stories that have been shared this week by people who knew him so well paint a pretty incredible picture of a truly unique individual.

I don’t think I’ll ever really understand how one person could use so many swear words to endear himself to everyone around him! 

I know for sure that Jarrod’s spirit lives on in our girls, but it also continues to live in the world of golf. And it’s not going away any time soon. 

To find out more about Jarrod’s ongoing legacy as part of Challenge – supporting kids with cancer, head to challenge.org.au/jarrods-gift/

Briony Lyle is the widow of Jarrod and continues to work at Challenge and grow Jarrod’s legacy through Jarrod’s Gift and #DoingItForJarrod golf days.

To celebrate what would have been Jarrod Lyle’s 40^th birthday, Challenge and the PGA have asked Jarrod’s family, friends, colleagues, and the infinite people he influenced, to share their favourite stories of the affable Tour Professional.

It is hard to believe that it has been three years since the Big Fella from Shepparton left us to play the best golf courses in the universe.

I miss the big fella. Jarrod was a friend, an inspiration, and I’m not ashamed to say that I loved him.

Through my work as a press photographer at the Shepparton News I had photographed Jarrod many times as a junior and took a keen interest as he progressed. We were also both members of the Shepparton Golf Club.

It wasn’t until around 2003 that we started to become friends when I would stalk him on the Aussie tour.

It was some years after his first scare with leukemia that I covered his first Australian Open at Moonah Links in 2003.

There was something special about this kid from Shepp. He followed his dream after a cancer scare and was playing a major Aussie tournament and I felt honoured to be there watching, photographing (and stalking) Jarrod.

The rest of the golf world knew there was something special about Jarrod was when he came third at the Heineken Classic in 2005. 

I still remember photographing the tears of raw emotion running down his face as he was interviewed live on TV after his last round.

The legend of the fighting Jarrod Lyle had started.

Jarrod qualified in Asia for the 2006 Open at Royal Liverpool. The stalking was going to cost a little more this time, but I wasn’t going to miss it. I loved watching Jarrod play golf.

The best golfers in the world were there but if Jarrod was on the course, no one else mattered.  

It was the first round of The Open with Jarrod on the practice putting green in front of the historic club house with other pros including Vijay Singh around. 

Jarrod must have been feeling nervous as he passed a long and loud gust of wind. Vijay cracked up laughing as did the other pros. Jarrod had a bit of the Aussie larrikin in him and didn’t really care what others thought.

Most missed it but I saw the sigh of relief on his face through my camera when his first shot in a major finished on the fairway. He went on to miss the cut after he hit a ball over an internal out of bounds line on the 36th hole.

During the Open there was a lot of media attention after his illness. 

Jarrod made headlines around the world just by making the field. It was an inspiration to watch him deal with it all. There was no bullshit and no excuses.

At around the time of The Open we started the “Lylefile” online, a website  about Jarrod.

There was a section that invited messages to be send to Jarrod. There were thousands of messages of support and it was clear that Jarrod had inspired many people around the world with his fight with leukemia.

There were tears reading the messages of support from people who Jarrod’s story had touched around the world. His story gave people hope.

One of my greatest memories of Jarrod was during the Coolum Classic years. A group from Shepp went up to watch him for up to five years straight, starting around 2007.

Our hearts rode every shot he played. If he played in the morning, we would watch and then play our Coolum Cup in the arvo at another course. 

The Wednesday night before the tournament he would play a few holes with us at MT Coolum. He was one of the boys playing with us on the eve of a big tournament. 

Jarrod also made time to come and watch us on the Friday of our event. We loved watching him and we loved him watching us, even though he was a slightly better golfer.

Even though he laughed I think he really did like watching our antics. He made time for us as he did for many people around the world.

The Coolum golfing highlight was Jarrod shooting 63, a 9-under par course record in the second round in 2008. 

The boys may have had a headache the next morning and a mysterious Lyle 63 sign appeared 12 storeys up over Coolum beach.

The Coolum boys will never forget the courage Jarrod showed on and off the course in his short life.

It was with great pride and pleasure that I accepted the invitation to take Jarrod and Briony’s wedding pictures in 2011. I guess he realised that I was going to turn up and stalk the wedding even if I wasn’t invited!

There were more tears in 2012 when the “c” word reappeared. We were organising a belated buck’s night when the news game through. It just wasn’t fair.

The Big Fella fought hard again with the inspiration of a beautiful daughter and beat the odds to make another comeback at the 2013 Masters.

There was huge media attention from all over the world. The crowd was in yellow for support and on the first tee there wasn’t a dry eye as he teed off the first. 

I was thankful for auto focus cameras as the tears ran down my cheeks. Jarrod would have been happy if he missed the cut but again the fighting spirit pushed him to the end.

He was exhausted in the fourth round but made it through.

Myself and a mutual friend of ours, Graham, joined me to the USA to watch Jarrod make his comeback on the USPGA tour after 29 months on a medical exemption recovering from leukemia.

He had an invite for Vegas the week after the first event for the year in the Nappa Valley but had to go to Monday qualifying to get into the field.

We flew into San Francisco knowing realistically that we may only watch Jarrod play two rounds of golf.

Jarrod new that friends Ian and Thelma were making the trip but had no idea that Graham and I were going to be there. 

It was late on our day of arrival when we heard that Jarrod had shot 66 to take one of the last spots at qualifying and was in the field for the first USPGA event of the year.

We headed to Nappa and hid in the bedroom of his motor home until he arrived back from practice on the Tuesday.

I will never forget the look on his face and the many swear words when he saw us there.

At dawn on Thursday after 29 months with medical exemption, Jarrod teed off the first with the same relief that I had seen so many times before through the camera, again with tears in the eyes of family and friends. 

Jarrod made the cut and of all the pictures I have taken of Jarrod, the ones with his friends and the other with his daughter Lusi after making the cut on comeback are some of the most memorable.

The last round of golf I watched Jarrod play was in Las Vegas the week after Nappa. 

He fought hard again to make the cut giving us eight rounds of golf to watch in two weeks rather than the two rounds we were guaranteed when heading to the USA for the comeback tour.

He continued to inspire thousands around the world.

We were all devastated when the cancer returned in 2017. It wasn’t fair again for someone who had given so much.

I feel honoured to have spent time in hospital in his last fight. There were times when not a word was said for hours and others where we shared memories and laughter of our times together.

Jarrod was loved around the world by his peers and the public. He was a great man that cherished friendship and inspired others. 

There was no greater tribute when Tiger Woods and most other players wore the LEUK badge after hearing of Jarrod’s latest battle.

Jarrod was dedicated to his charity work with Challenge. He inspired and gave hope to kids like himself in earlier years.

Robert Allenby inspired Jarrod with his work with Challenge and look what happened. The boy from Shepp with Leukemia inspired the world.

I saw Jarrod six days before his passing. My last few words to Jarrod were “Meet me on the first tee mate.”

Not sure when yet but I know you will be waiting. I’m sure he was thinking even a hacker could shank a ball 250 m down the middle in heaven.

We left singing the Melbourne Football Club song.

Miss you, mate. Happy 40^th birthday.

RIP my friend.

To find out more about Jarrod’s ongoing legacy as part of Challenge – supporting kids with cancer, head to challenge.org.au/jarrods-gift/

Ray Sizer is a former photographer at the Shepparton News and friend of the Lyle family.

To celebrate what would have been Jarrod Lyle’s 40^th birthday, Challenge and the PGA have asked Jarrod’s family, friends, colleagues, and the infinite people he influenced, to share their favourite stories of the affable Tour Professional.

I was fortunate enough to get to know Jarrod on a really personal level.

So much so that he called me ‘Uncle Mick’, or at least he did when he was being respectful!

I caddied for 15 years on the PGA TOUR and I was lucky enough to caddy for several great players, such as Greg Owen, Daniel Chopra and Will Wilcox.

Not one person ever said a bad word about Jarrod. He was liked and respected by everyone. 

I first met him as a fresh-faced kid in Thailand. I was caddying for Tripp Isenhour at the time, who was struggling on the Web.com Tour.

Tripp told Jarrod I was the man for him because Jarrod was already ready for the PGA TOUR. Little did I know the friendship that would follow.

We were firm friends right from the beginning, and became a really great team.

He gave me heaps of support off the course as well. There was a period of time when I didn’t have anywhere to live or base myself in the US and he let me rent a room at his house in Orlando.

We ended up spending a lot of time together and got to know each other really well.

On our weeks off we kicked the footy together, we went to the gym together (don’t laugh!), we got tattoos together (not matching), and we missed Australia together. We were just good mates.

He made sure I paid for everything as he had deep pockets and short arms!

We went to the range and practiced every day and then played a little four-hole course.

I lost every single time of course, which was a reflection of my golf skills but I also wanted to make sure he didn’t lose his confidence being beaten by a caddy!

He called me Uncle Mick most of the time, which changed to “The Fossil” when I started wearing glasses to read the yardage book.

Most of the time Jarrod talked about family, especially about Bri after they met.

I count myself one of the lucky ones to hear him speak so often about how much he loved her.

I know we both look like big, tough Aussie blokes, but we are both big soft marshmallows underneath it all.

I held him in my arms more than once when he cried about missing Bri, and again when he was filled with emotion to learn he was going to be a father.

He wasn’t just a friend, he was a mate, and we shared many a beer and many a laugh.

With Jarrod, what you saw was what you got. He was the most honest, genuine bloke you could meet.

I feel really lucky to have seen a side of Jarrod that not many people got to see, and I know for sure that his girls meant everything to him.  

My father told me that you will have many, many friends along the way but you will be able to count your mates on one hand.

Jarrod was on my one hand as one of the best mates. I miss him, and I always will. 

To find out more about Jarrod’s ongoing legacy as part of Challenge – supporting kids with cancer, head to challenge.org.au/jarrods-gift/

Mick was a professional caddy on the US Tour for 15 years and lived with Jarrod for a period of time.